There’s this online game called “2048”. Essentially, numbers 2 and 4 enter the screen each time you press up/down/left/right and the goal is to combine such numbers to reach 2048. It is driving me freakin’ insane because I can’t beat it. While playing and listening to slow jams from the 90s (Holla!), I realized how the game very much resembles my current state and life. How I feel the need to compartmentalize things in my life. To fit it into a box. To make it organized. Doing all that with the purpose of reaching some goal (or “2048” in the game). How, no matter how hard I try to compartmentalize and to organize and to plan and to develop a strategy, I can’t reach that end goal.

Drink up baby

Stay up all night

With the things you could do

You won’t but you might

The potential you’ll be but you’ll never see

The promises you’ll only make.

Drink up with me now

And forget all about

The pressure of days

Do what I say.

And I’ll make you OK

And drive them away.

Take control of your own life.

“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live — that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.” –Dan Millman

Questions to the Universe

Dear Universe,

Can you tell me the truth with a capital “T”?

When called to question my existence, I ask, AM I HAPPY?

– How do you qualify happiness? Is happiness feeling safe or content? Is happiness the feeling of the wind against your skin? Is happiness being surrounded by the ones you love in a town you adore?

But is happiness so much more important than avoiding pain and strife?

Isn’t the pursuit of happiness just as difficult if not more so?

What kind of life would I live if I were truly freed from my own ego, and from the self-perceived pressures of society, my family, and loved ones?

And how can I free myself from these shackles?

Life was made to be free in, this much I understand.

But how does one achieve it?

Thank you,

I.

Sunrise

photo-2

The sunrise is simply awe-inspiring.

Sometimes my mind becomes really busy with checklists, deadlines, and ideas at times where I am normally sleeping. That is essentially what happened today. The result was a five-mile run at 6 a.m. I was surprised to see so many people running too! I came across at least six other runners and I typically only come across one, if any at all, during my evening runs. I haven’t seen 6 a.m. (or anything before 9 a.m. to be honest) for more than half a year now. I figured that I’d have plenty of time for that when I start studying for the CA Bar Exam. The picturesque views though make me want to wake up every day, at 6 a.m., just to watch the sunrise… then go back to bed of course…

Living Authentically

[twas revised on the beautiful day of April 29, 2013]

There’s this piece of advice floating around the internet. It goes something like this:

“Spend less time observing, spend more time creating”

As my sister always says, when something rings particularly true, “FACT.” There are so many factors in a person’s life that makes living authentically difficult. Media, for example. Media sends its viewers numerous conclusions about their own life, including what things we can do to feel loved or accepted, or what purchased items will enable us to become the model-person they are selling.

In the past decade, the effects of media have transcended more conventional mediums, e.g. television, radio, and advertisements, and enveloped much of our social networks. Sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram complicate our social persona because we are now asked to bear ourselves to an even wider audience (i.e. anyone who is our “Friend” or who “Follows” us). Don’t get it twisted — I am not anti-Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/social media sites. There are lessons to be learned in navigating through such spaces, such as, being able to consider other people’s viewpoints and admiring what others are good at or have achieved.

C’est la vie — balance, balance, balance — that’s always the key. The goal then, when it comes to interacting with media is not to allow your personal development, passions and interests to be abandoned in starry eyed admiration (or in some cases, obsession) of others. More important than that, in my opinion as always, is learning to distinguish what you truly enjoy and like from what the media, or what your social network, tells you to enjoy and like.

I think this is important. It promotes personal growth, self reflection, and enables you to live a life, authentic to yourself.

In my own life, I have spent a while now contemplating: what is it that I honestly and authentically want to do? This doesn’t apply solely to my career, but encompasses my relationships with others, my hobbies, the goods I purchase — basically, anything in my life that involves a decision. At the end of the day, whenever I take the time to reflect, I always seem to reach a reoccurring conclusion: Life is limitless. Once we learn what makes us authentically happy and engaged in our life, there is nothing that can truly stop us — no person, no event, no thing — no conception that was packaged and sold to us. A feeling of calm settles.

Sweet Darkness, by David Whyte

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
 
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
 
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
 
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
 
The dark will be your womb
tonight.
 
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
 
You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.
 
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
 
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
 
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
 
is too small for you.